I showed lex my tattoo for the first time and he looked at it and smiled and was like, “Of course an anchor.” I was like what? And he said, “I remember how much you love anchors.” I was kind of taken aback because we focus so hard on remembering the bad things about people who hurt us. Later on he kept saying na I don’t remember and I have horrible memory, so for him to remember that little tidbit it was really nice.
I pray that families with “sick” loved ones take into account their loved ones own feelings. It’s easy to get swept up into this grandeous feelings of doing everything you possibly can, using all the medicines and treatments but some people don’t want to be wasting away in a hospital or in more pain then they would be due to treatment. Sometimes you have to let them be the selfish ones in the faulty situation. Sometimes for them it would be easier just to let life take its course.
Lex made a joke about having to put books on the car seat before letting me in his car, which took my back to HS when we got off in 5th period, drove to Los Taquitos in old Chula to pick up food and eat in the parking lot of the Chula library and we actually stacked books on my seat to see if I’d see better while driving. 😂
Or when he’s constantly tease me for always driving too fast and I didn’t slow down for a dip and my car literally flew, like all wheels off the floor for a good three seconds and we couldn’t stop laughing 😂😂😂
“Stay single until u meet the guy who never stops trying to keep u bc he knows getting u wasn’t the hard part, but giving reasons to stay is.”— @thesexualquotes (via thesexualquotes)
“note to self: they only care once you’ve moved on.”— @thesexualquotes (via thesexualquotes)
Heartless
How they can live with themselves after cheating or leaving with no explanation I don’t know. These men are trash. You don’t get to ruin someone and walk away with no consequence.
We found this lost puppy and she was so gross and looked so unloved it was so sad but even with her circumstance she was so loving and playful and wanted to be loved. And I really wanted to take her home, she followed me wherever I went and I hella cried when animal control came and got her. I was like shit I see myself in this dog, taken for granted and the world turned its back on us but we still love and love so hard no matter the circumstance.
I’m going to try to rescue her from the shelter.
I battle with myself over ending my friendships with Ry and Richard all the time. I love and cherish them on a whole other level. I’ve cried to them, laughed with them, bonded with them. They’ve become such a big part of who I am and they’ve picked me up countless times. No matter what I’m in I can count on Ryan always picking up the phone and Richard to remind me they care about me, I’m not alone and there’s a reason why they’ve stuck by me. I’ve almost lost myself in losing Kevin and I battle with letting go of my two constants. On one hand I love them they guide me when I’m lost and on the other hand it gets too hard. I’ve done it to myself. Everyone told me at the end of the day they will always be friends with HIM and Kevin and I’d never NEVER argue against that because I respect it but as time goes on and my grieving continues it gets harder to indulge in a friendship when I know and I cannot ask them to stand up for me.
I know what I need to do for the sake of me avoiding this continual pain but I hate the thought of losing out on two of the most constant people in my life.